Matt DeFaveri

Inapproprietary

The phrase “FML,” or “F my life,” has rapidly caught on and been coined by my generation. That’s right – we own it. All you other people born before 1988 who I’m sure have said similar or exact phrases: posers. Every one of you.

The “FML” phenomenon started with a website I won’t post here for ethical reasons. I don’t want to suck hours out of your day combing through the thousands of situations ending in “FML.” You deserve better than that, and I am not a time sucker.

Here’s my issue with the phrase: people don’t use it in appropriate situations. Standing in line waiting for your sandwich and saying “FML” because it’s taking too long is not disastrous enough a situation to use the term. If the most f-your-life-worthy moment of the day is that you had too many packages from your family to pick up at the mailroom in one trip then no, I don’t feel sorry for you. I’d love to be able to say, “Crap, I forgot to put my refilled water bottles in the fridge when I went to class. Now they’re all lukewarm! FML,” but that’s just not as severe as something like, “Our eighth round of in vitro fertilization didn’t take. Now we’re broke from spending so much money on the same procedure. FML.”

However, I understand not everyone is undergoing in vitro fertilization and subsequently can’t write an F my life moment involving that. I also get that sometimes college students just need to vent – probably moreso than others. Alright? I “get it.” But quit masking the “FML” phenomenon as “venting.” Some of you: fine, I’m sure you use it to vent, but I really think that several people actually believe their life is F’ed when they complain about their daily annoyances. It’s not that bad. I promise. You don’t have to run to the “fmylife” website every time your hair curler stops working or a Red Sox player gets injured in the WBC.

I find it unusual on the “fmylife” website that their tag line is: “My life sucks but I don’t give a f***.” Really? For a site where thousands of people care enough to post their crappy, made-up stories in hopes that their FML moment will be validated by the number of “I agree, you’re life is f***ed” clicks, it seems to me people are desperate for someone else to give a “f***” even if the original poster claims not to care.

So if the only people who care are the ones posting their FML moments for everyone who doesn’t care to not care about, then everyone only cares about themselves and the site’s tag line should be: “My life sucks, but I give a f*** because I want you to think it sucks too, even though I know you won’t because I could post that my astronaut monkey got lost in space two weeks ago and we haven’t had any contact with the ship since, FML, and you would still agree that my life is f***ed. That’s how deperate you are to prove to yourself that your life isn’t as f***ed as it was five minutes ago, even though it wasn’t all that bad to begin with.” But aesthetically speaking, their current tag line looks better.

On another note, I just tried throwing away my nutri-grain bar wrapper from across the room only for it to land in my shoe instead of in the trash can. I wonder if some higher power is trying to make a comparison between nutri-grain bars and feet and trying to get me to stop eating them (I won’t, they’re delicious) or if I’m just pitiful at aiming and should get my lazy ass up and walk to the trash can next time. Probably the latter. FML.

Thursday January 21, 2010 · Filed Under: Rants